tres marias
Two months ago, I helped a friend host her colleagues who planned to tour around Shanghai coming from Beijing. They were not my usual guests for one, they are already in their 40s, mothers, and coming here together not as friends but sisters.
In the Philippines, a lot of women are named "Maria" as a reflection of deep religious association to the Blessed Virgin Mary. I myself too was named "Marie" for the following reason, I guess. My guests, even if they didnt have "Marias" in their names are "Marias" with their exemplary roles as mothers.
Ting, who is the eldest, married late (38) to a husband 4 yrs younger than her. She came out of a 10 yr. failed relationship prior to her marriage. Being faced with pressures of society, she prayed and if it was His plan for her not to be married, she will accept it. Her prayer was answered with a loving husband and a child. However, since she got married a bit late, she gave birth to an autistic child. Carrying on with our conversation, she didnt have any regret, rejection, disappointment receiving such a fate. Most of the time, we feel that receiving something unordinary is a bad thing because it doesnt conform with the norm. But for Ting, her son was a gift and very special. She was grateful for her son. I admire her for this. Society puts a heavy price on those people who have special kids as if it was their fault. She mentioned that it is really very hard but the rewards of being a mother, having an autistic child validates her motherhood in the full sense. She even said, this makes her more of a mother since her threshold for patience, love and sacrifice is extended as compared with a mother who has normal kids. The demands of having an autistic child is more thus she has to give more.
Kaka, married very early at an age of 18. She has 3 great kids whom after chatting a bit, I found out was one of my student when I was a Teaching Assistant. As a result to marrying at a young age, she is now a single mom, physically separated to her husband but WILL make sure that she will not divorce or get legal separation from him. But what is interesting about her is that she is good friends with the second wife!!!!!! It may sound hypocritical but she is sincere. She embodies what a Christian should do, "love your enemies." She accommodates the second wife and the daughter whenever they come to visit them. Would you imagine yourself running to a similar situation? I cant imagine myself!!!! Society will definitely scrutinize u for this. But then, the love of a mother to her kids still stood above the hatred brought about the adultery of the husband. Everything for the sake of the kids. How heroic.....
Didit, who was the youngest, has a very beautiful daughter but refuse to marry the dad. For what reason, Ting and Kaka were also perplexed until now. I think this is because of the experience of her two elder sisters, she wants to devoid of herself from the problems that marriage would bring. I admire her strong character for this. All of us know that having a child and not married in the Philippines, especially from the province where they grew up, is a grave and serious issue to the point of being ostracized. But she didnt mind what others will think about her. She is very happy and fulfilled to have a great and loving daughter. Afterall, her want is simple, she wanted to experience being loved and to share her love as a mother.
These three women are worth mentioning. I dont know what type of mother will I be in the future but I guess, I want to have the same qualities these mothers exhibit. In their own way, they are reflections of the Blessed Mother herself. All of them extends a love filled with sacrifice which we saw how our Mother loved us and her Son. I hope that imbibing the spirit of sacrifice as shown by these women, whether we become parents or not, should ALWAYS be part of our lives as we witness and offer the passion to love with the spirit sacrifice to our families.
Technology has made our lives favor the love of comfort. Sometimes we get too irritated, troubled and frustrated to some discomforts we experience. We've seen these great Marias having good characters as mothers because they were with difficulties. The true recipe for happiness is to love with the spirit of sacrifice.
In the Philippines, a lot of women are named "Maria" as a reflection of deep religious association to the Blessed Virgin Mary. I myself too was named "Marie" for the following reason, I guess. My guests, even if they didnt have "Marias" in their names are "Marias" with their exemplary roles as mothers.
Ting, who is the eldest, married late (38) to a husband 4 yrs younger than her. She came out of a 10 yr. failed relationship prior to her marriage. Being faced with pressures of society, she prayed and if it was His plan for her not to be married, she will accept it. Her prayer was answered with a loving husband and a child. However, since she got married a bit late, she gave birth to an autistic child. Carrying on with our conversation, she didnt have any regret, rejection, disappointment receiving such a fate. Most of the time, we feel that receiving something unordinary is a bad thing because it doesnt conform with the norm. But for Ting, her son was a gift and very special. She was grateful for her son. I admire her for this. Society puts a heavy price on those people who have special kids as if it was their fault. She mentioned that it is really very hard but the rewards of being a mother, having an autistic child validates her motherhood in the full sense. She even said, this makes her more of a mother since her threshold for patience, love and sacrifice is extended as compared with a mother who has normal kids. The demands of having an autistic child is more thus she has to give more.
Kaka, married very early at an age of 18. She has 3 great kids whom after chatting a bit, I found out was one of my student when I was a Teaching Assistant. As a result to marrying at a young age, she is now a single mom, physically separated to her husband but WILL make sure that she will not divorce or get legal separation from him. But what is interesting about her is that she is good friends with the second wife!!!!!! It may sound hypocritical but she is sincere. She embodies what a Christian should do, "love your enemies." She accommodates the second wife and the daughter whenever they come to visit them. Would you imagine yourself running to a similar situation? I cant imagine myself!!!! Society will definitely scrutinize u for this. But then, the love of a mother to her kids still stood above the hatred brought about the adultery of the husband. Everything for the sake of the kids. How heroic.....
Didit, who was the youngest, has a very beautiful daughter but refuse to marry the dad. For what reason, Ting and Kaka were also perplexed until now. I think this is because of the experience of her two elder sisters, she wants to devoid of herself from the problems that marriage would bring. I admire her strong character for this. All of us know that having a child and not married in the Philippines, especially from the province where they grew up, is a grave and serious issue to the point of being ostracized. But she didnt mind what others will think about her. She is very happy and fulfilled to have a great and loving daughter. Afterall, her want is simple, she wanted to experience being loved and to share her love as a mother.
These three women are worth mentioning. I dont know what type of mother will I be in the future but I guess, I want to have the same qualities these mothers exhibit. In their own way, they are reflections of the Blessed Mother herself. All of them extends a love filled with sacrifice which we saw how our Mother loved us and her Son. I hope that imbibing the spirit of sacrifice as shown by these women, whether we become parents or not, should ALWAYS be part of our lives as we witness and offer the passion to love with the spirit sacrifice to our families.
Technology has made our lives favor the love of comfort. Sometimes we get too irritated, troubled and frustrated to some discomforts we experience. We've seen these great Marias having good characters as mothers because they were with difficulties. The true recipe for happiness is to love with the spirit of sacrifice.
posted by marieand at 4/24/2006 12:06:00 AM
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