bolts and nuts

I've been wanting to write about him since yesterday but had to do a lot of things yesterday. I left my laptop last night at the guard house after watching a movie feature of the Philippine Film Festival here. For everyone reading this, you should watch, "Magnifico." Very nice and well written Filipino art film.

I've met Kuya Roland a couple of times as he kept coming back and forth Manila-Shanghai. He is one of the Senior Technical Supervisors in Manila plant of Oishi and always had to be brought here for new commissioning of production lines. He is always the "man" for the job. We should be proud of these kinds of Filipino workers.

First impression of him was very pleasant. He greeted me a couple of times while I did my running on the treadmill and other Oishi employees played billiards. I also shared a word or two with him during breakfast. This morning he shared his "life strategies"----how to choose a partner. I was stuffing myself with steamed buns, oatmeal, hard boiled eggs and carrot bread as I listen to his account. I just have to mention this detail to give you an idea food here is great that I have to counterbalance it with my running.

He told us, before jumping into marriage, learn and know ur partner really well. He courted his wife for a month and got married. He said, he learned a lot about his wife AFTER getting married. For all those guys reading this, be careful with choosing a partner. As a famous quote would say, "behind a man's success is a woman." It got me into thinking about this after his shared life principle: assess if the girl will bring you success in the future. It seems practical being a business-minded person myself. Though of course, when love strikes it cripples our senses. ;)

He said, in looking for a wife, make sure the partner is good in handling finances (meaning: no unreasonable shopping sprees, no super close attachments with relatives that always had to lend a helping hand and feet to them, no misaligned priorities). He mentioned that he almost had to separate his wife. After staying for 5months in Shanghai for a project, when he got back in Manila, the wife accummulated huge debt!!! Debt he didnt even think of spending in his lifetime. It was horrible to the point that the tuition fee of their kids were at stake. He was already ready to get separated as the wife went back to her family. He talked to his kids if they are "ok" with it, but then, the love of a parent still supercedes personal feelings, sentiment and anger. He went to his wife's house and fetched her to come home. He said, his wife is really good but her priorities are just not right. She got super tight family ties to the point of risking the sake of their own family. They were in debt because the wife was asking money to be given to her relatives.

It didnt feel good listening to his piece of advice....but I think it is worth telling everyone here.

I'm always criticized to being too "high standard" with choosing a partner. I think we all have to. Life is not easy and as always reiterated by married people, we expect people to change during the marriage, but it doesnt happen. We overlook small details where in fact these small details are what we have to contend with everyday of our lives with our partners. I have with me non-negotiable things...small things...that reflects to the character of the person. We are sometimes after superficial things; we get deceived with appearance. Remember guys, those pretty faces have with them costs. These girls invested a lot, thus, u should be prepared to shoulder their costs. :P

As for Roland, he is working now for his kids. He has been working for Oishi for sometime. Tinkering with the nuts and bolts of each machinery is what's keeping his family. He maybe indebted caused by his wife, but you can see in his face optimism, fortitude and hope a passionate person has. I'm sure he brought with him a lot of gifts for his family. He's off to Manila today.

For us not yet decided to make the jump, make sure we've "checked" our partner's bolts and nuts.....small and often ignored but are important for a whole machine to work. Just like in marriage!

tsinelas/slippers

I start my day reading online newspaper. I love reading articles from Philippine Star, especially, their lifestyle section.

I find this article very appropriate to be posted here in my blog.

Tsinelas
NEW BEGINNINGS By Bum D. Tenorio, Jr.
The Philippine STAR 04/23/2006

One must experience a certain kind of hunger so one will someday be full. Poverty is one of my favorite topics because it taught me to be rich - in many ways that money can't buy. Deprivation showed me that success or failure is a variable of life. Since it's a variable, being deprived becomes an opportunity to better one's life. Penury is no deterrent to succeed. Only those who do not know how to weave their dreams become hungry; for dreams feed the soul.

The following is a speech I delivered three years ago when I was invited as the guest speaker of the graduating kindergarten pupils in Gulod Elementary School in Cabuyao, Laguna. Here goes:


I have a story to tell. This is about a young boy I know. He was born poor to parents who were farmers. When he grew up, however, he was able to meet and mingle with kings and queens, presidents and senators. No magic took place here. This is a real story.

Because this kid was poor, he didn't have a single toy. He would go to his neighbor's house to use the toys of his playmates. In school, he barely had notebooks. Even if his mother couldn't afford to buy him notebooks, this kid persevered to study. This boy was poor but he was rich in fighting spirit.

Often he would go to school without allowance, wearing slippers and tattered uniform. For breakfast, he would fill his glass of coffee with rice. For lunch, he would mash banana and steamed rice. For dinner, he and his four brothers would share one fried egg, divided equally among them.

One day, he came home from school with the sole of his foot bleeding. He stepped on a broken glass and it pierced through his worn out slippers.

"Nay, please buy me a new pair of slippers," the boy asked his mother.

"Son, we don't have money. Just be careful the next time," said his mother while treating her son’s wound. "One more thing," his mother added while applying tincture solution on his wound, "please remember that there will come a time when you will be able to buy your new pair of slippers."

"How will it happen?" the boy asked his mother.

"Simply believe that you can achieve what you want in life. Just dream," his mother replied.

When the wound in his sole got healed, his body, however, had boils all over. He got these from playing in the sand. He didn't mind having wounds as long as he could build castles out of sand. When he had made his sandcastles, he would close his eyes and imagine that he lived in an exquisite castle with lots of food, with a refrigerator, with beautiful slippers.

Because he had plenty of wounds in his arms, legs, even on his head, he was not spared from the bantering of his bully classmates. Even that did not deter him from going to school.

"Don't mind your classmates. I will go to your school and talk to your teacher. Only your body is wounded, not your brain. Just pay attention to your studies," his mother advised him.

In time, all his wounds were healed. They left scars all over his body. He graduated from grade school with honors. He continued to study.

He could have not studied high school were it not for his elementary teachers who helped him get a scholarship. This kid was full of ambition, only he had no resources.

So he could go to college, his mother offered a novena to God for him to pass the entrance exam at the University of the Philippines. God heard her prayers and this boy got a scholarship at UP Los Banos. He was given monthly stipend and book allowance which he gave to his mother so they could have money. Slowly but surely, his dreams were gradually being realized.

The kid who imagined that he lived in a sandcastle became a writer. He met, mingled with and wrote stories of people, the movers and shakers of the world, whom he thought only existed in the sandcastle of his dreamland. He visited places he thought he would only read in books.

Telling this kid's story might sound boastful. But this is the truth.

He achieved this little success in life because he once dreamed that he would be able to buy pairs and pairs of slippers and shoes; that the wounds of the past would be healed; that there would be food on their table. To this day, this boy continues to dream.

(I am this little kid.)

The writer indeed has shown his passion to fulfill a dream. Success requires encountering difficulties. If your problem is that you are not getting any challenges in life or starting to get bored....you are too comfortable, you need to re assess the way ur living. You are not passionate enough.

musically inclined

I'm listening to Steve Vai's music collection which was sent to me by my "frustrated" rock guitarist friend as he claimed. I never had the chance to hear him play but I'm sure he's not bad at all having Steve Vai as his idol.

I got reconnected to him because a common friend of ours mentioned that he was based in Hong Kong when I went there last October. We studied in the same university in Beijing but didnt have the time to chitchat. What's amazing is that, my conceived idea about this guy, is not what or who he is. He is a diver and a guitarist...

Well, ok, he claimed that he can't really play.....but why am I talking about this person???? He is really passionate about being and dreaming to play like Steve Vai. He introduced Steve Vai to me and even sent me a cd of SV's collection. I didnt even know this Steve Vai existed.....but he's really good after listening to his music. I dont know anything about guitars but I know how he does it seems difficult.

Sometimes our passion on something, like frustrated guitarist here, comes from the people whom we look upto. Some of them become fans of someone, collects things and trinkets, but just the same, isn't it being passionate on something draws out something good in us?

For people who became fans of someone, they try to know more and more about their idols. For those people who are collectors, they try to save up on their extra cash to buy these small things. Along the process, the fan gains knowledge; the collector develops a habit which may lead to a virtue.

He may just be a fan of Steve Vai but I think looking up to SV he's pushing himself to know more about SV and to play the guitar really well. That's something I have to learn, never stop trying. It seems so stubborn to keep on doing something even if they dont seem to do well in that thing they do....but that's what we call passion! It doesnt matter if you are the best in the eyes of others, u are doing it because u want it and it makes u happy even with difficulty. Besides, being humans we are supposed to gain knowledge and be virtuous.

So want to hear Steve Vai or learn to play the guitar? It's never too late! My mom who just turned 54 last March started to learn how to play the piano. She knows how to play Jingle Bells...too early for Christmas, huh?

tres marias

Two months ago, I helped a friend host her colleagues who planned to tour around Shanghai coming from Beijing. They were not my usual guests for one, they are already in their 40s, mothers, and coming here together not as friends but sisters.

In the Philippines, a lot of women are named "Maria" as a reflection of deep religious association to the Blessed Virgin Mary. I myself too was named "Marie" for the following reason, I guess. My guests, even if they didnt have "Marias" in their names are "Marias" with their exemplary roles as mothers.

Ting, who is the eldest, married late (38) to a husband 4 yrs younger than her. She came out of a 10 yr. failed relationship prior to her marriage. Being faced with pressures of society, she prayed and if it was His plan for her not to be married, she will accept it. Her prayer was answered with a loving husband and a child. However, since she got married a bit late, she gave birth to an autistic child. Carrying on with our conversation, she didnt have any regret, rejection, disappointment receiving such a fate. Most of the time, we feel that receiving something unordinary is a bad thing because it doesnt conform with the norm. But for Ting, her son was a gift and very special. She was grateful for her son. I admire her for this. Society puts a heavy price on those people who have special kids as if it was their fault. She mentioned that it is really very hard but the rewards of being a mother, having an autistic child validates her motherhood in the full sense. She even said, this makes her more of a mother since her threshold for patience, love and sacrifice is extended as compared with a mother who has normal kids. The demands of having an autistic child is more thus she has to give more.

Kaka, married very early at an age of 18. She has 3 great kids whom after chatting a bit, I found out was one of my student when I was a Teaching Assistant. As a result to marrying at a young age, she is now a single mom, physically separated to her husband but WILL make sure that she will not divorce or get legal separation from him. But what is interesting about her is that she is good friends with the second wife!!!!!! It may sound hypocritical but she is sincere. She embodies what a Christian should do, "love your enemies." She accommodates the second wife and the daughter whenever they come to visit them. Would you imagine yourself running to a similar situation? I cant imagine myself!!!! Society will definitely scrutinize u for this. But then, the love of a mother to her kids still stood above the hatred brought about the adultery of the husband. Everything for the sake of the kids. How heroic.....

Didit, who was the youngest, has a very beautiful daughter but refuse to marry the dad. For what reason, Ting and Kaka were also perplexed until now. I think this is because of the experience of her two elder sisters, she wants to devoid of herself from the problems that marriage would bring. I admire her strong character for this. All of us know that having a child and not married in the Philippines, especially from the province where they grew up, is a grave and serious issue to the point of being ostracized. But she didnt mind what others will think about her. She is very happy and fulfilled to have a great and loving daughter. Afterall, her want is simple, she wanted to experience being loved and to share her love as a mother.

These three women are worth mentioning. I dont know what type of mother will I be in the future but I guess, I want to have the same qualities these mothers exhibit. In their own way, they are reflections of the Blessed Mother herself. All of them extends a love filled with sacrifice which we saw how our Mother loved us and her Son. I hope that imbibing the spirit of sacrifice as shown by these women, whether we become parents or not, should ALWAYS be part of our lives as we witness and offer the passion to love with the spirit sacrifice to our families.

Technology has made our lives favor the love of comfort. Sometimes we get too irritated, troubled and frustrated to some discomforts we experience. We've seen these great Marias having good characters as mothers because they were with difficulties. The true recipe for happiness is to love with the spirit of sacrifice.

the filipino politician

Today was a good Saturday. I received an email from boss approving the new timeline I have for the next 6 months of my plans for the company. I'll be going home in July.

This morning, a group of Filipino business executives visited the company grounds for a "briefing" on how to do business in China, which is ALWAYS a hot and cool topic that businessmen want to know everytime they set foot in this awaken dragon.

Among the participants were two important and very influential men whom I think got too much bad publicity from our very prejudicial society! They are Mr. Bongbong Marcos and Mr. Mariano Marcos. I'm sure by now, reading their surnames makes u think, "oh those corrupt people who took billions of money out of the philippine economy." STOP!!!!! I was trapped to the same perception as last night I was quite jittery how I will "do" upon being introduced to them. Today, I thought my professor would "formally" introduce me to them but I was caught off guard as Mr. Mariano Marcos approached and gave me a very warm handshake and began talking about her daughter studying in my alma mater. He gave me his namecard and told me that he will come back again in May with his kids and would want me to meet them. (Of course, this might just be one of those "break the ice" thing and may not materialize, let's see...) I felt very empowered simply because being an ordinary employee, having an encounter with a very famous personality in Philippine society, whom I thought was living this very charmed life. I was wrong. He was as normal as u and me.

Here's the bigger catch, Mr. Bongbong Marcos too was very friendly and had pictures taken with me and the rest of the group. There's my shot to "fame." I felt awkward having them ask u to have ur picture taken with them than the other way around. Pardon my 5 second brag on my small call to a celebrity's shot to fame. Moreso, I was closely observing Bongbong's behavior and body language during the talk, and I can see he is indeed very smart as he asked very important questions with regard to setting up businesses in China. He was also not with any bling bling things to show off and of course, a digicam like u and me. He was wearing sneakers, jeans, poloshirt and a suit. It may be designer clothes, but just one fine detail, it didnt look new and stylishly lavish. Very relaxed and casual. There's your snapshot of an embattled filipino politician.

I'm sure these are just first impressions that may not be in any way reflective of their characters as filipino politicians. But I find it very important to see that these two Marcoses took time out to study again, whether or not they are studying a CEO program for personal or for the Philippine economy, this is not my point. I want to emphasize that this should give us a tinge of hope that there are still some filipino politicians who are pro active. I'm sure the Governor had sincere reasons why he joined the program and perhaps try to apply it in his province. I'm very happy about this.

As Filipinos, I think it is important that we stop accusing the Marcoses of the things of the past. We are always succumbed to the "society" mindset telling us to raise an eyebrow to these people. Charisma, indeed, is one of the reason why the Marcoses are still strong in Ilocos. They've won the hearts of the Ilokanos. I admire the Ilokanos for giving the Marcoses the chance to prove that they are not what the rest of the world thinks of them. We know that they committed serious mistakes in the 70s but for the sake of the Philippines, I think their efforts to return what was due to the Filipinos is evident with this process of learning. There's the passion to learn which is what we need now for the Philippines.

We NEED to move forward as a country. I'm not advocating any political agenda here but as a normal Filipino citizen working abroad, I'm still very optimistic that these men-Marcoses maybe a good thing for us to have afterall despite the FACT that society and webster dictionary has used their relative's name in vain....try checking what "imeldific" means.....

an ordinary life

A friend of mine who just started his blog today had me start my own today too after finding out that posting a comment I had to sign up for an account. He's got a lot of nice things to share too with his blog. Everyone who visits this blog should care check on his blog:moneyreallymatters and randomthingsthatmatter

I'm ur typical office busy bee worker, running around 8-5 work man hours, stuck in front of my laptop, emailing, reporting to a boss. Everyone will think that this is such a boring work-life. But I would want to object to that MATTER OF FACTLY point of view of the majority. Most of the time, we get dissuaded by what society thinks we SHOULD be doing, buying, having, spending, needing, wanting,loving. I've met a lot of people for the past year that made me look at this life I'm living now more extraordinary rather than ordinary. In the end, ordinary is from the pov of the others looking at me, but what matters is what I think and do with my life. Here's why I'm calling my blog "passions." I'd be discussing here my passions in life and the passions in life of the people I meet. I believe this is the hidden driving force what makes this life less so ordinary and interesting.